"So Cham, where do you work?" - The proverbial question which is frequently thrown at me. Oftentimes, by strangers-turned-new-aquaintance. Sometimes by old peers I haven't seen for quite some time. Sometimes, I'm prepared to answer. Others, catch me by surprise.
"Oh me? I work at home..." I answer them. In various languages and dialects. In many different formats and word combinations. In various intonations and styles. And yet, the reaction I get is pretty much the same. People may also use a wide assortment of languages, words, and even non-verbal gestures, but still, the message is clearer than crystal to me:
"Ah... So your husband works and you just stay at home. Do you have kids?"
Of course I tell them the truth. None yet. At least not human children. But it's pointless to explain. I'm just a lazy girl who stays at home and makes her husband work his a** off so I could swim in his hard-earned money.
It used to bother me so much, you know. It hurts me to the point that I contemplate on going back to being employed in a regular office job (with all the corporate clothes and clunky shoes that I have to endure while at it) just to prove a point. But now, not anymore. In fact, I just sit back and laugh my heart out the whole day. OK, that's an exaggeration. My point is that because I know what the truth is, I don't get affected that much anymore.
I guess it's every girl's dream to be have a husband who can provide for her needs as well as that of the entire family and household. Even I dreamed of that! And I believe that it's every man's dream too. But it's another thing to wish my husband could earn money for both of you so that you can sleep all day (Although I sometimes do...). What I'm saying is that husbands and wives have their own comparative advantage when it comes to tasks that they do well. And of course, I have no intentions of criticizing stay-at-home wives and especially moms who do not do income-earning work and spend their days caring for everyone in the family. I wish I could do that too! Some of them I even idolize and look up to as my personal inspiration. And as a good partner to your husband, you can and you should always find a way to do your part of making your life together beautiful.
As long as you know your value as a person, and not just as a wife, then there is nothing to be afraid of. Nothing to worry about. As long as you and your husband know the exact division of labor system that you have in your family, then who cares about what other people say? Boost your own self-esteem. Find whatever it is that makes you happy, whatever adds value to your own life, and continue to grow and nurture it. It is a waste of precious time and talent to think of what your detractors say about you.
It is only you who knows the whole truth about yourself. In the grander scheme of things, it is not what you do for a living which actually matters. It is what you do with your LIFE. Live with the truth in your mind and in your heart and everything will be alright. Maybe not just alright. Not simply better. But always for the BEST. ;)
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"Oh me? I work at home..." I answer them. In various languages and dialects. In many different formats and word combinations. In various intonations and styles. And yet, the reaction I get is pretty much the same. People may also use a wide assortment of languages, words, and even non-verbal gestures, but still, the message is clearer than crystal to me:
"Ah... So your husband works and you just stay at home. Do you have kids?"
Of course I tell them the truth. None yet. At least not human children. But it's pointless to explain. I'm just a lazy girl who stays at home and makes her husband work his a** off so I could swim in his hard-earned money.
It used to bother me so much, you know. It hurts me to the point that I contemplate on going back to being employed in a regular office job (with all the corporate clothes and clunky shoes that I have to endure while at it) just to prove a point. But now, not anymore. In fact, I just sit back and laugh my heart out the whole day. OK, that's an exaggeration. My point is that because I know what the truth is, I don't get affected that much anymore.
I guess it's every girl's dream to be have a husband who can provide for her needs as well as that of the entire family and household. Even I dreamed of that! And I believe that it's every man's dream too. But it's another thing to wish my husband could earn money for both of you so that you can sleep all day (Although I sometimes do...). What I'm saying is that husbands and wives have their own comparative advantage when it comes to tasks that they do well. And of course, I have no intentions of criticizing stay-at-home wives and especially moms who do not do income-earning work and spend their days caring for everyone in the family. I wish I could do that too! Some of them I even idolize and look up to as my personal inspiration. And as a good partner to your husband, you can and you should always find a way to do your part of making your life together beautiful.
As long as you know your value as a person, and not just as a wife, then there is nothing to be afraid of. Nothing to worry about. As long as you and your husband know the exact division of labor system that you have in your family, then who cares about what other people say? Boost your own self-esteem. Find whatever it is that makes you happy, whatever adds value to your own life, and continue to grow and nurture it. It is a waste of precious time and talent to think of what your detractors say about you.
It is only you who knows the whole truth about yourself. In the grander scheme of things, it is not what you do for a living which actually matters. It is what you do with your LIFE. Live with the truth in your mind and in your heart and everything will be alright. Maybe not just alright. Not simply better. But always for the BEST. ;)
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